Playtime Guidlines: Unspoken Rules of Engagement
As you will quickly learn there are many unspoken rules in the lifestyle. Most of these are common sense, but we all know that can be a rare commodity at times. Every club or party you attend will have their own rules and guidelines and it's always best to ask what those are upon arrival. However, there are certain guidelines that can be considered universal.
So, here are some of the dos and don’ts that you should keep in mind when entering a play area:
1.) Expectation of Privacy
Open/no door - If you're a bit of an exhibitionist and don't mind people asking to join in, you can have your fun in a room with no door, or just leave door wide open. An open door in the swinger world is seen as an invitation to watch or participate (with permission of course). You can always say "no" if someone asks to join that you're not comfortable with and vice versa. But in this situation it is perfectly acceptable to ask the question.
Cracked door - Again, if you are an exhibitionist and don't mind people watching you play, but you don't want anyone joining in, you can leave the door cracked open. This will signal to other guests that they can "look, but don't touch". Many clubs have windows in the private play rooms which allows you to close the door so no one tries to join, but you can still put on a fun show. 😏
Closed-door - If you don't want any intrusions, keep the door closed entirely and ideally locked. If you're wandering through a club or private party and see a closed-door, leave it that way. As I mentioned earlier, sometimes a room will have a window, and it's okay to watch (respectfully) through this, but otherwise, leave it alone. Don't open the door, don't knock, etc.
2.) Always ask before you touch.
And only ask once. I'm pretty sure you wouldn’t appreciate someone randomly
touching you or your partner, so have the same respect for others.
3.) The Golden Rule:
“NO means NO”. PERIOD.
You can say “NO” for any reason at any time even if you are in the middle of play and have changed your mind or feel uncomfortable and want to stop. Never do anything you are not 100% okay with. Its not worth jeopardizing your happiness or satisfaction with this lifestyle or your partner, by doing something just because you are afraid to say no. Always be honest from the start so you can avoid possible misunderstandings.
Don’t forget that people’s attitudes change. You might not be interested initially, but the more you get to know them that might change. That has happened to us on several occassions.
4.) Respect.
This goes without saying, always treat one another with respect. This is all supposed to be about fun, enjoyment, and freedom to be yourself. You should never be rude or judgmental, because you wouldn’t want it to happen to you, right?
If a single gentleman talks to you (in a polite, respectful manner), but you are only looking for couples or single ladies, that doesn’t mean you can’t be nice to him. Just politely let him know your play preference.
5.) Arrive together and leave together.
If one of you shows up with out the other or leaves early that will automatically raise some eyebrows of your fellow swingers.
6.) NO Pictures.
Cell phones and cameras are NEVER permitted in play areas. If you happen to be at a private party and want to get some sexy pics ALWAYS get permission from all parties before snapping pics. AND be sure you have their consent for whatever you plan on using those pics for. If you want to add them to your profile on a swing site, ask first.
7.) Clean up.
This also should go without saying, but you wouldn't be shocked at how dirty some people can be. Be respectful of the playroom attendants or party host. Throw used condoms, wipes, etc. in the garbage. If you know you're a squirter, lay down some extra towels and dispose of them properly after play. When you're done playing it's also a good idea to pull up the corner of the bed sheet signaling to the attendant the bed needs to be changed.
8.) Single Men.
Alright right guys, I have an entire article dedicated to you, so I'll keep this short and sweet. Be mindful that most clubs only allow single men on certain nights and many house parties don't allow them at all. Make sure you check before showing up somewhere only to be turned away.
So there you have it. Remember, this is not intended to be a complete list of rules for everywhere. These are just some of the things that I think are important for newbies to keep in mind when setting out on their journey. Most importantly, have fun!!! That's what it's all about!
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