Advice for Single Men

One of the biggest questions asked in the lifestyle is, "How does a single male fit in?" There is honestly no "easy" answer to this question. The truth is, the answer lies almost 90% in luck. The following tips might help you out as you begin to explore the swinging lifestyle. 

As a single guy, before you dive head first into swinging, there are a few things you should be aware of and take into consideration, many of which most guys would never think of. First keep in mind that swinging is primarily a couples activity. It has always been a hot topic of debate about whether single men (or women for that matter) who enter the lifestyle are actually swingers or if they just get lucky. The answer depends on their perspective. Swinging is ultimately about fulfilling and sharing fantasies. Swingers tend to enter the lifestyle with a mindset to help others fulfill their fantasies while also fulfilling their own. In contrast, if you intend to enter the swinging lifestyle only to get laid, you are not only not a swinger, but you are also in for a rude awakening.

As you are probably already aware it's not easy for a single guy to get into the lifestyle; however, you might not be aware of the simple reason as to why. As I said earlier, swinging is primarily a couples activity and is about fulfilling fantasies. Yes, there are many couples out there who have fantasies, which involve an extra male or 4 or 5 even. But the fact of the matter is that for every couple who wants to include males in their play, there are at least ten other males who would like to fill that one spot. So, as you can see, you have some competition. 

What are some ways to beat the competition? 

In my opinion/experience, there are two things that will get you in the door the fastest; and not every guy fits the bill. What are they? The first is a big dick. Obviously, size is relative, but with big, we are talking at least 8 inches or more with decent girth. The other (a personal pet peeve of mine) is if you are black, because basically a lot of women have fantasies involving a BBC. For some it's the stereotype of the big black cock, for others it's the thought of doing something taboo. There are probably as many reasons as there are women. No matter what the reason, if you are black or if you have a large dick then your chances are much better than the average. 

What if you don't fit in the above categories?

All hope is not completely lost. If you are a decent-looking guy with good hygiene and a good personality your chances are still pretty good. The key is really in your attitude though. If you are simply looking to get laid, that will show and it will decrease your chances. The secret to success is being honest about your desire to fulfill fantasies both of your own and theirs, and showing them that you are there for them as well as yourself. 

Where do you start? 

First, you can start by signing up on any number of swing sites (such as SDC) and you can post your own ad. Once you've set up your profile you'll then be able to search for ads/dates already published by couples seeking males and respond to those ads that match your criteria. When browsing existing Swingers postings be sure to read them carefully so you are sure you understand exactly what the couple is looking for and make sure that you qualify. If they aren't seeking males, don't respond. If they are only seeking black males and you are white don't assume that you are special and just because you are nice they will want you. If you don't fit what they are looking for don't respond to the ad. All that will do is get you blocked.

When you do find an ad or profile that you want to respond to, don't just write an email saying how much you'd like to 'do' the wife. You should be respectful and give a good description of yourself, who you are, how you look, and your background (in regards to the lifestyle). And please for the love of God use spelling and Grammer checks. It is also a good idea to include a G-rated full-body or headshot photo. G-rated photos with your face will go a LOT further than just dick pics. DO NOT send them a pic of your dick unless that's what they asked for. Save the explicit pictures for after you've spoken with them and they have asked for them. 

Posting your own ad

In addition to responding to the posts that are already out there, you might want to post your own ad. Keep in mind, however, that based on the number of single male ads already posted, you'll probably have better luck responding to an existing ad than posting your own. Also, don't limit yourself to just one website; do your research and check a few different sites and see which one/ones work best for. (Check out our Affiliate page for a few more sites recommendations) Different sites are more popular in different areas, so keep that in mind when you're exploring.

When creating your profile or posting a date listing, include as much information about yourself as possible. Give a good description of yourself as well as the type of encounter you are seeking. Are you looking to form a long-term relationship? Or, just a one-night fantasy fulfillment? Be sure to provide a good idea of your location and be clear about your willingness to travel. If you are able to host activities in your home be sure to mention that. Above all else be honest in your profile and any date listing you post. If you are a married guy trying to swing without your wife, be honest about that fact. However, you should know that if you are a married man swinging without your wife and without her consent, you are not swinging at all, you are cheating, and most swingers will not be keen on that sort of thing. 

Remember, it's all about honest relationships, not lying and cheating when it comes to swinging. Don't forget the big picture. Lastly, I realize not everyone wants to post their face on a swing site. If this is something that concerns you, my suggestion would be to post a full-body pic with your face blurred out. Then once you get a response you can send them your face pic. 

Clubs and Parties

One final thing that I'd like to mention. And this is a BIG one. Many swing clubs have nights on which single males are welcome. Be prepared to pay a pretty penny to get though. Let's say you see an attractive women across the room. Your natural instinct will be to go directly to her and start flirting. 🛑 Stop 🛑 This beautiful woman also has a husband, and if he feels in any way disrespected, your chance of play time just went out the window. So, approach the husband introduce yourself and tell him what a beautiful wife he has and let him guide the conversation from there.

Hope this helps some of guys out there! 

~ Two4Real4U ~